Hmmm

Can you spot what's wrong in each picture?


Don't worry the net has holes.


The camera was on the counter.
I recovered the sharp object before any harm was inflicted.

when the cat's away....

Fun on the Farm

Staheli farm in St. George, UT is not only the home of a 2,000,000 acre corn maze but also of FARMLAND ADVENTURES. Corn maze's are not fun with small children, one too many children got "lost" and were left (that's what scarecrows really are.) Hence the creation of Farmland Adventures, redneck fun for kids of all ages. I secretly think Jed and I had the most fun.

Jara on the horse trotter. Redneck horse rides. We had to pry her off, complete with death grip finger unwinding. Jack would have nothing to do with it, we finally found something he is scared of, tires made into swinging horses.

Isn't this the most beautiful place for a farm? Red hills, blue-blue sky. Happy cows=happy steak!

Can you spot our lil' punkin? I LOVE pumpkin patches.

A giant swing for a giant man! He is about to jump over the fence. Keep perspective in mind by remembering that Jed is 6'5" I'm sure there is some mathematical/physics equation to figure out the arc and dimensions of how fast he is traveling/how far he can go and that is why my husband, who rocked those classes last fall semester...JUMPED or NO JUMP What do you think?????

A mattress in the hay, I could think of another redneck term, but we'll stick with trampoline.

Jara, also like daddy, applying her knowledge of physics/calculus, caught some serious air!

Farmer Jed. Does anyone else remember the original farmer Jed machine?

Farmer and farm daughter, being particularly cooperative at the moment.

Redneck slide. If you can't tell, it's a giant, ridged culvert sat at quite the angle. At the bottom you land in 2 feet of corn. If you go down head first you get a tasty snack.

Jara loves teeter-totters. I had to pay better attention after she sat me on my butt pretty good.

Riding the cow train. Best $1 roller coaster EVER! We are sitting in a barrel attached to multiple other barrels hooked up to a tractor! Careening out of control past aisles of hungry cows.

If you are looking for weekend adventure I highly recommend the Staheli farm. There is plenty to keep kids of all ages entertained and it is decorated SO cute. (It's the Martha Stewart of farms.)

New Do's

BEFORE:

TOO plain!

TOO Scruffy!

TOO long

AFTER:


FANCY!

The first time Jara has ever let me curl her hair! I had to bribe her with a popsicle.

SPIKY!

Jack's first hair cut!

Much, much shorter!

I couldn't take it any longer

Early Morning Conversations

This morning Jed and I were in the living room, actually awake before the children and this is what we hear:

Jack: DADADA YAAYAA RRRRR

Jara: Jack BE QUIET! I SLEEPING!

Jack: (Various dolphin noises) AHHHHHRRR

Jara: Jack go to SLEEP!

Jack: jrajrajra (I think he is saying jara)

Jara: Don't talk!

pause

Jara: Use your quiet voice.

Jack: daDAdaDADDDDDD

She's like me in the morning!

*Note: This conversation took place between one closed door and one unusually open door.

Road Construction

Alas, our dirt road will be paved! One of the last roads in Logandale to remain dirt no more! People will now come visit me when it rains. I should be joyous, however the process of getting rid of a dirt road is making me hear noises in my head!

Normally I have a healthy respect for road construction, my husband's livelihood depends on it. But, if I have to hear BEEP BEEP one more time...

Equipment noises and tractor smell does not bother me it brings back fond memories of my grandpa "disking" his field, my dad landscaping, and Jed building things (and landscaping.) However, BEEP BEEP BEEP over and over and over again, especially at 6:30 in the morning is going to make me go out in my pajamas and tell the operator to hand me over the controls I'll show you how it's done! (And no I will not then use heavy equipment for evil hahaha)

They are moving the same pile of dirt repetitively. I think they've re-done my driveway every day for the past month. I see the grade-checker out there lining up his instruments and scratching, never a good sign.

I asked my construction-management-major husband why it is necessary to have the beep noise and he told me "Safety Joshlyn, Safety, it's all about SAFETY." Well if they knew what was really safe for them they would disable it! And seriously, do you need the beeping noise to let you know a million pound, chugging piece of, DIESEL, machinery is coming at you, at the roaring speed of 5 mph! If you can't figure that out you deserve to be hit! Jed responded by telling me a horrible story and telling me to be nice.

When will it be over?

Jack's opinion of road construction...

While the Cat's Away...

The mice play and play and play and PLAY all day long. (The cat is working forty hours a week and has 4 nights classes and 3 labs (more classes, except you don't get credits) Needless to say for the next 9 months I'm going to have to exhort all of my creative energy! Then I'm going away, preferably to Hawaii and not the mental institute, but either way it will be a vacation.

We eat cake batter. (We had to do some serious scrubbing to get rid of this, you can't show up to church sporting a beelzebub mustache.)

We build sand castles in the back yard, even though it's 105 outside! Actually, we are playing street urchin and that is why the children are dirty, unkempt and cooking sand-soup in a pot outside.

I teach 14 piano students a week!

We play hide and seek. I am a really good "hider." jk Jara has to hide from Jack because he likes to practice his piranha skills. He's now sporting 6 sharp, deadly chompers.

We play rate my space. Do you like the finished nursery? It only took 10 months!

We try new beauty concoctions. Here is a little tip, Comet is non-bleaching on hair and makes it surprisingly smooth, silky and shiny! Use under close adult-supervision, if you fail to assist your child while he/she is applying be sure to check their breath for the smell of bleach in case you need to call 911. Don't worry I caught Jara before this occurred, I saw her go in the bathroom, knew I had left the Comet in the sink and was one step away when she scooped it all up and quickly dumped it on her head. Nooooooooo! We do not put comet on our hair. (one of those things you never thought you would say)

Deathly Hobbies

Have you ever wondered where to store a coffin? Here is one idea...

Here is another question you may now be asking yourself: Why is there a hiding coffin in this house? I'll give you a few options to choose from...

A) the neighbor's dog has crapped on my lawn one too many times

B) my sister finally did knock off someone

C) Edward Cullen was staying the night (cliche, i know, that's only in the movies)

D) Jed needs somewhere to store his paintball supplies

Well have you guessed the correct answer? That's right choice D!

When faced with the dilemma of where to store his multiple paintball accessories, my husband came up with the morbidly creative idea of a casket case. He painstakingly crafted a beauty of a case. The only problem now lies in where to store the thing! It was in the closet for a while but every time I went in there it was starting to unnerve me. Being sensitive to my distaste for a daily reminder of death, Jed kindly removed it to where it now rests-in-peace in our bedroom, hidden behind the lovely, happy kissing picture he bought for me ten years ago, that I still haven't hung up since rearranging my room. That's what happens when you let clutter build up, something dead hides behind it!

Building the beauty. Anyone want to purchase a similar replica? This would revolutionize the flowery world of Etsy.